genius

I've come up with a brilliant invention. I know, I know, I should be modest, but I can't help it, this is, as the Brits would say, brilliant.

So, you know how when you're driving in the rain you have to have your windshield wipers on, but it's not raining hard enough to even warrant the lowest setting? So you can either leave them on low and deal with the squeak the blades will make because there's not enough water on the glass, or you can wait till you get annoyed enough by the fact that you can't see to temporarily turn on the wipers and then lather rinse repeat.

Or how about this: You're listening to a great song, blasting it through your cheap speakers, singing at the top of your lungs, and then the wipers hit the edge of the windshield. COMPLETELY off tempo. And it's so distracting that you speed up, just so that you can justify switching to a faster wiper setting. Only to find out, this one's off too!

Have no fear, my latest invention to the rescue! How many of you took piano lessons as a wee little one? Come on, I know you did, raise your hand, don't be shy. Well, if so, you may recall a little device known as a metronome. It has the ability to keep time at a wide spectrum of tempos, by virtue of a sliding weight on a pendulum. You can choose tempos all the way from ~50, Largo, to ~200, Presto.

Here's where my idea comes into play. What if instead of the regular knob for high, medium and low, there was a metronome style knob? You could choose exactly what tempo you wanted, whether it was to match the beat of your current song, or simply to make life easier by choosing just the right speed to match the amount of precipitation in the air. Either way, your call. You're in the driver's seat (pun intended of course). ;)

You may henceforth refer to me as Wile E. Coyote, Suuuper Genius.

missive

Dear Quizno's Baby Bob,

First off, I must send my heartiest congratulations to the pushy stage mother you must have. I can certainly see how she must have jumped at the opportunity to profit from your questionably adorable looks by way of scary digital manipulation. Undoubtably, she carefully weighed the possibility of scarring you for life (or at least those of us subjected to watching you talk like a 45 year old) against the pain she would endure if she neglected to seize this chance to preview your impending mid-life crisis.

But dear me, where are my manners? Let's look past your parental guidance (aka agent) for a moment. The endearing folks at Quiznos must hold you in the deepest regards. To think, they thought of including you in their new campagin immediately after the talking squirrels/gerbils/whatevers. I mean, as we all know, a baby that acts as though he's old enough to have his own kids is an infinitely better way to convince the average consumer to purchase subs than a guinea pig singing about a pepper bar. You must be so honored. They could definitely teach these guys a thing or two about how to really engage your audience and promote positive associations with your product.

Anyhow, I'm sorry been beating around the bush here. Fact is, I can plainly see why you would be an exemplary spokesperson for the new beef sub. I mean, such a clear connection! When I think footlong sandwiches that need to be dipped in brown goo, I certainly think of talking 8 month olds. I can't believe Subway didn't get to you first, they really screwed up with that Jared guy. Keep up the good work, and don't worry, I'm sure the movie offers will be flooding your inbox.

Your devoted fan,
sangeet

countdown

countdown

The Count would be proud, don't you think?

Don't worry, I don't intend to turn this into a photoblog, I know what few of you there are that read this will turn away. But I can't resist sharing my favorite shot of tonight's play time with my camera's settings.

Thanks to Adam for introducing me to the macro button, better known to my mind as 'the weird tulip button.'

retake

glasses part II

I've been getting a little trigger happy these days with the camera. These glasses from last night comprise part deux of my stemware series. ;)

Again, the flash causes a small reflection, but it's less noticeable this time. As before, my favorite part is the mirrored image on the smooth table.

suspicious

gloves

I saw these outside my neighbor's door tonight. Clearly they...

...were part of a leprechaun costume.

...belong to the incredible hulk; he was shedding.

...creeped the hell out of me. Why would you leave latex gloves (green, no less) in front of your door in the common hallway? It should probably disturb me that my first question wasn't "what were they being used for?"

yeah, I definitely double checked the locks tonight.

judgy von-holier-than-thou

What's the deal with the phrase "reserve judgement?" As soon as I read it, I immediately start judging. I can't help it. It's like when your friend tells you not to look at the hot guy at the next table. What do you do? Of course, whip around as fast as you can to check him out. Anyhow, if someone tells me to reserve judgement, it usually means that I'm already pre-disposed to judge the topic in question, and will likely ignore any efforts to distract me. Or, the topic is truly worthy of derision and they're just bracing me for the worst, trying to butter up what paltry pros that may exist. In any event, it's a superfluous expression, and I'm hereby starting the petition to remove it from our collective phraseology.