2.28.2005

genius

I've come up with a brilliant invention. I know, I know, I should be modest, but I can't help it, this is, as the Brits would say, brilliant.

So, you know how when you're driving in the rain you have to have your windshield wipers on, but it's not raining hard enough to even warrant the lowest setting? So you can either leave them on low and deal with the squeak the blades will make because there's not enough water on the glass, or you can wait till you get annoyed enough by the fact that you can't see to temporarily turn on the wipers and then lather rinse repeat.

Or how about this: You're listening to a great song, blasting it through your cheap speakers, singing at the top of your lungs, and then the wipers hit the edge of the windshield. COMPLETELY off tempo. And it's so distracting that you speed up, just so that you can justify switching to a faster wiper setting. Only to find out, this one's off too!

Have no fear, my latest invention to the rescue! How many of you took piano lessons as a wee little one? Come on, I know you did, raise your hand, don't be shy. Well, if so, you may recall a little device known as a metronome. It has the ability to keep time at a wide spectrum of tempos, by virtue of a sliding weight on a pendulum. You can choose tempos all the way from ~50, Largo, to ~200, Presto.

Here's where my idea comes into play. What if instead of the regular knob for high, medium and low, there was a metronome style knob? You could choose exactly what tempo you wanted, whether it was to match the beat of your current song, or simply to make life easier by choosing just the right speed to match the amount of precipitation in the air. Either way, your call. You're in the driver's seat (pun intended of course). ;)

You may henceforth refer to me as Wile E. Coyote, Suuuper Genius.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I feel as if I am raining on your parade, but the Mini Cooper has speed- and rain-sensitive wipers. But don't feel bad. I thought up the water bra and then someone else had it in the stores. Grr.

sangeet said...

oh no, you're kidding right? sigh. Just one more reason I should buy a mini. :) Although mine did have a special appeal for the musican demographic... water bra, eh? Err, I'm not even sure why one might want that..

rain on my parade. hee. it gives away who you are ms. anonymous ;)

Anonymous said...

Yep, that's true about the Mini. Even so, you should probably get a patent or copyright or whatever on this invention post-haste, before someone steals the name "Metronome Wipers."

bodhi said...

nice blog! Are those your eyes?
namaste;
bodhi

sangeet said...

hmm... metrnonme wipers... metripers. Wiponomes? Ok, I'm just being silly.

bodhi, those are in fact my eyes. You see people? This is why the eyes are all you see. Non-recognizable. :)

Peter said...

I don't know what kind of car it was, but I have driven a vehicle with period-adjustable wipers.

I think it might be going to too far to ask the auto companies to allow us to script everything on the vehicle, but while you're making windshield wipers that wipe to the beat, please invent turn signals that synchronize with the car(s) in front of you. Particularly annoying for me is the case where I'm behind four or five cars and the signals all get in sync for a second, only to leave me wishing for me after they deconstruct down in to noise.

Niki said...

Well, I knew they were your eyes. But then, I know you. I actually think it's ironic, since you sometimes see those pictures of people with the bars over their eyes, but here we get the opposite.

sangeet said...

Peter, you're right. But the solution to the turn-signal starts with standardizing the tempo at which those things click. Once you've got that narrowed down, at least you'll only ever ALWAYS be in sync, or never.

Hee, the Glamour Bar! I never thought of that, Niki. I suppose you could just affix my eyes to whomever was the victim of the black bar?